The weekend I didn't get much sleep at all, so all my emotions was a little out of control by last night, and I went backwards and found myself wanting to feel pain to take another pain away. As much as I'm reinsurance I can't shake this feeling that Skye is trying to take Emily away from me, and it makes me feel sick and hurt, I try to hide these feeling for both there sake's but last night I couldn't and I ended up hurting Emily....and I think tryst. I also have a fear that Skye may hurt Emily again, and that Skye blames me for us all leaving, and she is planing on trying to steel Emily back, and the boi's, making it like it was before I turned up.
I feel like don't deserve to be loved, that my heart should be ripped out and bleed dry, so that I can no longer cause anyone pain. Bleeding sounds really good to me right now. I have one good thing in my life and my stupid fucking depression and the lack of control of my emotion's, are going to end up pushing her away, and on top of it all I can't eat....I try but I just can't bring myself to sallow.
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